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A Time To Die: Part 1!
by Dave
by Dave

KABLOIEEE!!!!!
Thats right, the solution to kids keying your car is to cap their sorry ass with a magnum! Why didn't I think of that one before? I guess these guys aren't as friendly as I first thought. Anyway, they then haul their asses outta the area since they figure that shooting kids that key your car is a little extreme, and doesn't sit well in a court.
I should also mention that as they're running, this kid makes the longest scream I've ever heard in a movie. I'm not fucking kidding, its a good 20 seconds long at least. It starts with a simple "aaaaaaHHHHH!!!!" then progresses into some sort of satanic roar in the middle. Way to mess with the kid of the devil himself assholes. This guy deserves an oscar for that scream alone, not to mention his facial expression during it. He looks like someone has rammed the eiffel tower up his penis. I've rewound this part a good 20 times just to laugh at it again.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"
Thankfully, the ambulance guys have now arrived to tend to the kid and the cops have arrived to catch the guys that did it. But who's this hiding in the shadows and taking photographs of this horrible scene like some sick psycho?

Why its Traci Lords! Yes thats right kids, everyone's favourite 80s hardcore porno queen is starring in this movie as a photographer. I guess the well ran dry, and thats why shes decided to take a role in this movie. And I mean the well of MONEY you filthy fucks, not that.
Anyway, whilst she's busy taking more pictures the cops corner the bad guys onto the top of another building. They're not planning on going down easy though, and take out a cop even though their car was nowhere within keying distance! These guys really are assholes :(.
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