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Habbo Hotel. Taking retardedness to a new level.
by Dave


   Rabbits! Hang on a minute... that guy who ruined my rep by kicking me out of that bar earlier was a rabbit too! Its official now, rabbits are the sworn enemy of the Pink Ladymen! This was an oppurtunity to wipe out the leige! We discussed our plans of operation- should we attack? Should we go covert? Should we just follow them to see what they do? Or should we just walk away? In the end we decided to follow The Habbo Way.


By attacking each and every one of the snotty asshats.


   After they ran off we returned to the Gypsy Gathering for a celebration of our triumph. After all, we totally owned them with our use of the phrase "*KILL*". We got totally drunk on a few imaginary cyber bottles of wine and then danced to the tune of victory. After what seemed like an eternity of mantraining around the room we all got bored and signed off. Back to reality I guess. MagicalDave was no more.

   Well, there you have it folks. Within the space of 50 minutes I got kicked out of a pub, laid, insulted by a crowd of idiots, buttfucked a cop, formed a small group of mentally-disturbed delinquents and attacked a bunch of rabbits. Its like living my teenage years all over again. Within 50 minutes. It makes real life seem a lot longer, but thats probably because it is. Logic gets me every time :(.

   However, and I must digress; most of the regular people on Habbo Hotel (you can tell them easily) really are more than regulars. These people seriously, seriously, live their lives on this goddamn thing. They've quite literally absorbed themselves into this collection of pixels on their monitor that represents them. I've seen people with cyber families and cyber homes on this thing, with the dads going to cyber jobs in the hotel. That isn't healthy.

   My conclusion from this whole little experience being; Habbo Hotel is all well and good if you want to waste a bit of time when you could be doing something useful (worked for me), but just make sure it doesn't become a habbit. Otherwise you'll be awash in a sea of idiots who consider a bunch of malformed, indentical, pixellated cartoon characters sexually attractive. I said "hello" to someone in a corridor, then walked away when they didn't respond. Later they sent me this message:


   These are the kind of insane, desperate obsessives we're dealing with here. If anything, check out Habbo Hotel if you want to mess with the brains of sensitive blowhards. You'll realise how truly lucky you are to be yourself whenever you delve into this obscure world of sleazy online sex, anonymous relationships and pathetic clingyness. As for me, I don't think I'm ever going to sign into Habbo Hotel again. No wait, I've got a java final in a couple of weeks as well. Humm... what was my password again?



Hot mantrain action!!


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