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Habbo Hotel. Taking retardedness to a new level.
by Dave


   Upset and humiliated by my actions in the bar, I decided that the main thing missing in my new online existence was someone to share it with. MagicalDave was now on the hunt for love. I immediately did a search for relevant rooms and found the perfect place, apply titled "<3 boyz kiss gurls <3." I'm guaranteed action in a place with a name like that! I put on my best cyber-cologne and walked on in.

   The first thing that hit me was the musty smell of sex and tension. There was a crusty bed and a lot of hormones flying around. Two girls instantly walked up to me;

"hi asl ur kinda se.xy :d"

"lool hey u look fun"

I replied in the only way I could.

   Suddenly, almost in unison, they started to bicker. "Me first!" "No, me first bitch!!" These chicks were clawing at each other for possession of my masculine passion. You can't blame them for wanting to tear each other apart, but alas- I had to choose one. Its always hard to disappoint but it has to be done. One of them had to go, and so I chose the chick in blue. Mady-Ally walked away slowly, heart in shatters.

   On a temporarily serious note, from what I've seen so far this kind of stuff happens all the time on Habbo Hotel. The users get seriously caught up about a bunch of pixels on screen. Some of them literally live their love lives on this godforsaken computer program. During my short-lived stay on this thing I've witnessed people cry over one another, two-time each other and get seriously upset about it. I've watched a thousand cyber-hearts shatter and a thousand more swell. Tragic love stories a-plenty, and I could go on and on. It makes for interesting viewing at least, although my sense of pity is exhausted.

   Anyway, after a little chit-chat ("a/s/l?") me and the other chick went back to her room. She decided to go and get changed whilst I waited in her lavishly-decorated boudois. When I say lavishly-decorated I really mean bare as hell. There wasn't even a damn bed. I know its a good thing to tidy your house when you're expecting guests but damn. Anyway, when she returned in a revealing, sensual pink top she popped the question MagicalDave was working towards all night:


Score!

   I'd pulled. Now that I'd gotten laid and was a hot online Habbo Hotel stud my depression had disappeared, and my ego was back to full. I did what any guy would do, and ditched the bitch straight away and popped a cap in de azz (not really, sadly the option to become a cyber slasher isn't present- but we can always dream).

   Once again I found myself in the hallways of the corridor becoming quickly bored and lonely, so I decided to liven things up a little. I asked some people from our very own forums to sign up, in hopes of creating some group-style mischief. After everyone had signed up and rendezvoused in the hallways, we discussed our plans of action and collectively came up with a truly ingenius idea. Everyone left the vicinity to make some uniform changes to themselves, and when the group returned we became...


The Pink Ladymen.

   Noone screws with The Pink Ladymen. If they do, they get a warm wang in their ass. The Ladymen are formed from various regular forum members, and from left to right are; Code, SewerRat, MagicalDave, Kazzeh, DrunkCat and Esmiralda.


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