 | | The Night Before Christmas |
by Rob on 12.18.2008
88 Comments | Reply |
'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
Except for my son Billy's pet mouse named Chris.
I'm not really sure where I'm going with this.
Anyway, my wife in her kerchief and I in my cap,
Were asleep after a long day of Christmassy crap.
When then, from the chimney, there arose quite a clamour,
"There's someone in the house" my frightened wife stammered.
I reached for the bedside, grabbed my handgun and said,
"This trespasser's getting an ass full of lead"
 | | Die Romantic- A Look At Aiden |
by Dave on 08.09.2008
502 Comments | Reply |
As your average music-loving, CD spinnin' joseph, I like to think that I have a half decent opinion on the difference between good music and horse bile. Frame of reference; I love collecting CDs. Sometimes I just buy one on a whim, not knowing who the band really is. Theres no finer hobby than spending £14 on a piece of plastic, only to find out that its actually a piece of hog shit (imagine my delight when I bought Metallica's St Anger, in that case). I have hundreds of albums; some I like, some I’m not so keen on, but hey, there’s something for everyone in there. I try to keep an open mind as far as music goes- if I’m not personally keen on it, then that doesn’t mean it sucks. Horses for courses, no?
With that fresh in mind, rare is it that a band comes along who will make my blood genuinely boil. I may sneer at some of the more hack acts out there, but rare is a band so hatefully woeful that they make me want to hack off my ears with plastic spoons and feed them to a gaggle of rabid ducks. So naive was I that finally a band has come along to rewrite every notion I ever had about how all music has at least some value. Folks, meet Aiden;
Hello ladies.
 | | Reviews of Movies We Haven't Seen: Disaster Movie |
by Matt on 06.25.2008
104 Comments | Reply |
 
OR
An Open Letter to Lionsgate Pictures in a
Plea to Stop Releasing Such Shitty Movies
When I normally do these reviews, I'm taking liberties with assumptions and generalizations for comedic effect. The whole idea is to make fun of a serious movie. I'd like to turn the tables for this one time, though, and take a serious look at what's supposed to be a funny movie. Emphasis on "supposed to."
Disaster Movie is the upcoming addition to the slew of generically-themed spoof movies from writer/directors Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer. These two cockbags are responsible for Date Movie, Epic Movie and Meet the Spartans. They also took the Scary Movie franchise and somehow made it even worse than it already was. Who thought you could take something created by the Wayans brothers and actually make it suck even more?
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